Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

It's off to work I go.

This morning was the first day back for me since I left gasping for air sometime late July... after surgery delays of three months, and then the doctor ordered three months of 'avoiding all strenuous activity', followed by a month of activity to get back into form.

Lying around and doing nothing but eating, watching television, cruising the interwebs, and drinking beer (to kill the boredom of doing nothing) has taken it's toll in the form of 15lbs around the waistline that weren't there last July.

I've damn near lost what was left of my mind in this short time while gaining insights as to why some dudes who retire with nothing to do end up dead within a few years. Luckily, I was given the go ahead to 'work it' in late January. I'm tellin ya... just in time.

So, after a 4-5 weeks of long walks and jumping rope (to get the heart rate pumping again), I reported for duty.
In this case, 'duty' means showing up at the clinic for a return-to-work physical which consists of the company hired doc asking things like "How ya feel?", and little else.
He remembered me from a year ago.... "Oh, I remember you. You could hardly talk last time. Yeah, sounding a lot better! How'd it go? yadda yadda..."
He's a decent guy. Grew up on a farm in the midwest. His brother is an ENT, so he took a particular interest in my set of issues.

Oh, and pissing in a jar. I never understood why. The reasoning makes no sense to me. If I'm going to be using illegal substances, what difference does it make if I'm using them while on disability or not?
Yet, the company is forbidden to randomly test me any other time, but feels obligated to test me upon return to work from an extended absence.

As it goes, since they have reason to suspect that I may be on drugs (that is why I am tested), I am forbidden to enter the production floor until I am cleared via the piss test.
In the meantime, I am 'on the clock' so to speak, until my test results come back, usually in about 4-5 days. I'll play along since it's their money (and mine, now).
What is also my money: Whatever overtime the person who serves in my place gets paid. It's already 2hrs worth, just for Monday.
Go for it.
I'll wait as long as it takes.
Two years ago, another co-worker's results sat on a desk for 3 weeks before somebody got around to noticing and calling him in for duty. They had to pay him for that. Plus overtime. Laugh Out Loud, eh? It's their policy.

I only half-hope that they lose my results 'cause I can't handle another week at home.