Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Because Only We Can Fuck Up The Simple Shit.

OK, so it's looking like navy ships and airstrikes against the regime in Syria... but we ain't takin sides, OK? Let's make that clear.

This is NOT what I called for.

What I called for was a simple administration of extra-judicial justice.

If we could locate Ali Mohamed Maliki Shabazz al-Jihad sitting in a cafe, in a land that nobody can find on a map, and drone his ass without warning, we can easily do this Assad guy who has a much higher profile.

We don't need a drone. Single tap to the back of the skull with a .22. It worked on Kennedy's. It will work on Assads, too.

This will not end well.
They should have listened to me.

Thursday, August 22, 2013


Clear evidence shows that the govt of Syria has used poison gas as a weapon against civilians. In a situation like this, I whole-heartedly endorse the United States taking action to lead a coalition to punish that  Assad guy.
He must hang.

It doesnt mean we need to send troops to engage in the fighting, but I would like to entertain the idea of sending Special Forces under cover to carry out an assassination or kidnapping of sorts...

Or, just maybe... we could locate and drone the mother fucker or something.... and then walk away, making our point that some shit is just too 'over the top' for civilized people to accept.

Assad acts as he does because he feels that he is untouchable. He's got the Russians backing him up, and nobody really wants to take on the Russians, do they?

No Problem... Drone his murderous ass, and let the Russians deal with that.
They will not, because they can not.

It will send a message to all the other crack pot dictators: Cross the line, and you may die... and there is nothing your (equally murderous) Russian buddies can do about it.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

This HAD To Hurt

Another case of the stories writing themselves.
Doctors have removed a 10cm long steel fork from inside a man’s penis, after a sexual adventure went horribly wrong.

The 70-year-old visited Canberra Hospital’s emergency department complaining of bleeding genitalia.

He then promptly admitted that he had inserted a piece of cutlery into his urethra in an attempt to pleasure himself.

Unfortunately the attempt backfired and it became stuck, leaving him in considerable pain. Despite this, it took him 12 hours to pluck up the courage to seek medical help.

Monday, August 19, 2013


"It's how you treat those who can do nothing for you."

I saw this somewhere, a long time, decades ago... I really need to stop that.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

The Daily Curse

I got my first set of eyeglasses when I was 15.  Evidently,  I had been near sighted for years without knowing (explaining why I was such lousy player in Little League, I guess. It's hard to run for a fly ball that you can't see til it's too late to get under it.)

Nearsightedness is not what it used to be and as the years go by, my eyes get worse. As it stands now,  I cant see shit from halfway across the room unless I have my glasses on, and I cant see shit within arms reach when they are.

I've tried bifocals.
I can't handle them, can't get used to them, and wasted too much money on three pair of lenses already.
OK, so bifocals will not be a part of my life. I'm set in stone on that issue.

So I live a life where the glasses come off, go on, come off, go on... repeatedly...  throughout the day... even several times during the same task.

While the glasses are always coming off it stands to expect that they are also too often misplaced. Just experienced such an episode today. Took three hours to find where I had left them, and I was really hoping to watch some TV in that time.

Part of this is my choice of style, I guess. I tend to prefer the minimal dark wire frames. The ones that blend in easily to whatever surface they have been laid upon, making them difficult enough to see as it is, let alone for somebody for whom seeing is more difficult.

So now I'm thinkin... my set of frames should be Elton John style: huge garish things with neon glitter and flashing Christmas lights on them.
Sure, it's kinda gay... (ok, so it's a lot gay...) but at least I wont miss a football game any more.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013


I think that it would be really cool if Tom Brady suffered a season-ending injury prior to Week 1, and Tim  Tebow led the Patriots to a  18-0 season before losing the Super Bowl in a blow out by The Bears.

Icing on an already near perfect cake: Green Bay goes 0-16 for the season with Rodgers taking all the snaps.