Sunday, March 29, 2009


Following the atheist trend, 100,000 Britons have downloaded "certificates of de-baptism."

I find it strange that while atheists prefer to look upon believers as superstitious and irrational, they can't see how they themselves often behave in the same way.

If the faith you do not believe in is false, why go through the bother? Are you afraid you might accidentally end up in Heaven against your wishes?

God forbid!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Sweeter Than Applesauce

Two to three times a week, I meet with a therapist (or two) for "Oral Function Therapy". The trick is to urge back my swallowing abilities with a series of exercises designed to flex certain muscles in my throat and mouth.
There is also some type of electrical therapy involved that requires electrodes attached to my neck to deliver a massaging level of shock to the muscles. Kind weird,that one.

This has been going on for several weeks,now.

Toward the end of today's session, Mrs. Therapist decided to have me try swallowing a small amount of applesauce. Since the surgery, I've been able to get about 1/2 teaspoon of water/soda/thin liquid to go down, but no more than that. And nothing thicker than that,either.
After all these weeks of therapy, I was sure I must be in possession of some small level of improvement, so I was eager to give the applesauce a try, and cautiously swallowed about 1/4 of a teaspoon.
I tried to, anyway.

The applesauce stuck in my throat, just above my voice box, not going anywhere.
OK, it's not working.
I hocked up into a bucket and made two more attempts that ended the same way.
Disheartened, I made my way home.

It's been nearly five months now. The first couple of months were really hard psychologically. Probably it being holiday time didn't help, as holidays are always celebrated with food. But since the first of the year, I don't really dwell on it and take it all in stride.
After all, there are lots of folks out there struggling through far worse physical predicaments, and there is, truly, nothing I can't do but this one exception.
And in my favor: I've lost all that weight I'd put on since high school, and my cholesterol and blood pressure are back to normal levels.

So, it's no big deal.
I'm OK with it.
And it sure beats the alternative.
An aside:
A couple weeks ago, I was giving my neurosurgeon a playful hard time, commenting through my pathetically weak and raspy voice how great life was until he 'fixed' me.
He laughed along, and then turned to me, in all seriousness: "If we hadn't fixed you when we did, you wouldn't be laying here right now."
Yeah, I'd be at home eating breakfast,drinking coffee,getting ready for work...
"No, you wouldn't be going to work"
True. I always take vacation this time of year. How'd you know?
"You wouldn't be on vacation,either. You'd likely be laying somewhere else."
That bad?
"You're lucky we got it when we did."
But it wasn't cancerous.
"It didn't need to be."

So, there it was. The first time I got an almost straight answer as to how serious everything was.
Anyway,back to...
Things have gotten better. I can now pucker, blow my wife a kiss, and let out a small whistle when I want to. This wasn't possible just two months ago.
Yeah, this is a long slog, but the distance does grow shorter by the day.
And that is a good thing.

Despite my positive attitude, I still get a little down on occasion. I should say, "let down" , because it only happens when I have some expectation of 'better' that ends up not panning out as hoped.
And I'm usually over it in short order.

Today was one of those rare days.

But instead of feeling down, I was just plain pissed off.
And not pissed off at my situation.
I was pissed off at applesauce. Does this make any sense?
I didn't think so.

I got home, and after walking into the kitchen I see first, a package on the table, and right there, on the counter, glaring at me: a jar of applesauce. Tauntingly, saying: "Bet you want some of this."
No, I don't.
Why don't you go to hell?
"Face it,punk. I beat you."

Now I'm cursing at jars of dead fruit...

I turn my attention instead to the package.
I don't remember ordering anything.
A glance at the return address brings a smile.
Still not knowing what, I tear it open like a kid.
Enclosed is a card: "A quilt is a hug that is always there for you."
Inside: a comfy quilt made from plaid flannel shirt material.
Somebody knows my style.
Feeling better already, I stretched out in my recliner and took a nap, pleasantly draped in the coolest. quilt. ever.

You've made my day.
Thank you!

Monday, March 23, 2009

A Bad Idea Made Worse

At a time when the federal government is spending billions of stimulus dollars to stem the tide of U.S. layoffs, should that same government put even more Americans out of work by buying cheaper foreign products?

Let's forget that silly notion of mine that our government should not be distributing condoms at all, let alone in other countries where the people haven't learned how to police their own behaviors.
(Face it: these countries are 'third world' for a reason, and it's not due to a lack of free condoms.)

But it seems to me that if we can pump billions trillions of dollars (or whatever it's up to now) to bail out overpaid CEO's and politically favored unions (UAW), it only seems more just to buy our African's condoms domestically, instead of from China or South Korea.

And given China's propensity for quality control, does anybody really think it's a good idea to be passing out mercury-laced Jimmy Deans in lead-based packaging to a bunch of AIDS-infected Bantus who can't keep their britches on?

Not to mention that 'cheaper' condoms are notoriously reliable when it comes to being unreliable.

I mean, look at the reputation of the United States abroad. They already hate us, no matter what good we try to do.
Imagine their anger when poison condoms ruin their love lives even further than fear of AIDS.
(On second thought, if they really feared AIDS, I guess they wouldn't need all these condoms after all. Besides the point, I guess.)

These folks are gonna continue to kill each other off, doing through promiscuity the job machetes and AK-47's didn't finish in their last tribal war.
But this time, they'll blame us.

Friday, March 20, 2009


(via The Lumberjack)

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Speaking Of Bastards

Here's the video of Octomom giving birth.

Not for the weak.

Bastard Nation

A record 39.7 percent of babies in 2007 were born to unmarried women.

I remember at one time actually being alarmed by such figures, pushing for government policies that might stem the tide of what I viewed as social decay.

I still see this as a form of social decay. One that will have far reaching complications later on down the road. Thing is, now I realise that there is nothing anybody can do about it.

Societies rise and fall. It is the course, and the curse, of all great societies throughout history. After a reaching an apex, a society allows its cultural mores to fall by the wayside, loosing the very thing that helped the individuals prosper through more difficult times.

Keep in mind,that before a people can become A People, they are first just individual people-persons doing what they do to get by: interacting with each other for selfish benefit as individuals are prone to do.

Societies and cultures work the same way. And they decline they same way: one person at a time, doing what individuals are prone to do, individually, selfishly getting by as they see fit to do.

We don't have a problem that governmental policy can solve even if it wanted to. What we have is millions of individuals making personal lifestyle choices, as others before them have done.

The Voice Of The Administration...

now has it's own blog.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Denny's Breakfast Special:

Denny's Restaurants is having a breakfast special in honor of Nadya Suleman, mother of the octuplets.

You get 8 eggs, no sausage, and the person next to you has to pay!

Friday, March 13, 2009


How many times do I have to ignore a 'friend' request from the same non-friend before he gets the message?
That, and his repeated messages to ask "Do you remember me?"

I'd nasty the pathetic twit, but to message him grants him access to my profile for thirty days.

Just maybe, after what is now the 5th ignored 'friend' request, he'll get the hint?
Time will tell.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Thinning The Herd

This is a Ferrari Modena

This is a Ferrari Modena in the hands of a moron with more money than brains.
(clickie biggie)

I guess you can just say that he's all 'tapped out'.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Madoff To Prison?

Somehow, I find that hard to believe...

The latest news is that Bernard Madoff will plead guilty to all charges.

Supposedly, he is scheduled to plead and grovel before the court this Thursday, and then return for sentencing several weeks later.
Given that justice favors the wealthy, he will likely be given time after sentencing to attend to his affairs prior to reporting for actual prison.

This is what often bothers me about our system. The wealthy get a different level of justice than the rest of us. Madoff, who 'mad-off' with billions, was given a postable bail, and allowed to remain in his $7 million home pending trial. If it was some blue-collar dude who ripped off a few grand, he would have been in jail the whole time.

My suspicion, given that the creep is 70yrs old, is that this guy will likely take an overdose of sleeping pills before he reports to serve his 150yrs.
And why not? He's been ripping off the citizens for 20yrs. Why not steal justice from them,too?

***Update: I was wrong. The judge revoked his bail and he was led away in cuffs.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Family Values

I remember once, it was over thirty tears ago now, a female member of the family, rather attractive, about 15 or 16 she was being harassed in the neighborhood by some young man who wasn't very, ah... I'll just say he hadn't yet learned how to properly behave toward a young woman.
Threats of degrading sexual acts, lewdness, things of that nature.
After two or three encounters with this guy she told her dad about it. She was scared, to be sure. Naturally, her dad didn't like the kinds of things his ears were hearing.

When the Dad paid the offender a visit, he was met with hostility and a baseball bat. Before the discussion was over, the bat had changed hands, and 'the message' was properly, and forcefully, delivered.

About an hour later, the cops were paying the father a visit.. They heard him out, ruled it self-defense (wink,wink) and the situation was considered resolved.

You see, in the Old Country, fathers and brothers didn't call the cops when their women needed defending. And I know that we here in the New World are supposed to be more civilized than Calabrese rednecks. But are we, really?
Sometimes, I'm not so sure.

Today, singer Chris Brown was (finally) charged with two felonies nearly a month after he beat the snot out of girlfriend, and fellow singer, Rihanna.

Why it takes The Law a month to get around to this is don't know.
And tough guy Brown will most likely get probation, maybe attend a few "Don't hit girls" classes, some "counseling".
He's got the money, so 'justice' will be understanding of him.

But you know what I find really criminal about this whole affair?
It's that Chris Brown is still looking pretty healthy. Not even a slight limp when he walks.
So what's wrong here? Doesn't Rihanna have a father, or any brothers?

Monday, March 2, 2009

Why I'm Not In Charge, Reason #1723

Pearl Harbor, despite it's use as a naval base, exudes an atmosphere of serenity. A relaxing calm filters through among the ocean breezes, the beauty of the Hawaiian landscape providing a pleasing backdrop as your tour boat approaches it's destination.
Disembarking, you walk up the ramp.
Your head is on a swivel. Looking around. At the harbor. The surrounding hills. The large vessel floating by. The white stone structure that is your destination.
What a cool place to be.

You step aboard the Arizona Memorial. Looking down,you are reminded that directly below your feet, permanently entombed within the hull, lie the remains of over 1100 United States servicemen.
In case you needed a reminder, the protruding gun turret and the still present oil slick leave no room for doubt: you are indeed standing on hollowed ground, the names of the entombed etched in stone upon the Memorial Wall.

Looking out again, you try to imagine how this sweet place in the sun could have once been the site of so much hell.
Bodies floating. Men screaming. Smoke billowing. Fires raging. Explosions of every kind, everywhere. Death by the thousands.

So, it is with interest that I read of the Emperor of Japan potentially visiting this sacred site. The place where all this hell and devestation was rained down in the name of the rat bastard of Pacific,who else, but the Emperor of Japan.

And no doubt, the Emperor will desire to lay the obligatory wreath in honor of the fallen.
Well, I think enough wreaths have been laid already, and from this guy, the Emperor of Japan, using the wreath cliche is getting off easy. Waaay too easy.
For crying out loud, this is Pearl Harbor we're talkin 'bout.
The day that will live in infamy.
Remember, those sneaky Japs? and the surprise attack?
And let this pompous jerk off the hook with a frickin wreath?
Who you kiddin'?

Personally,if I were in charge, I would require that the Emperor shave his head, strip to skivvies, and prostrate himself before every American present, physically kissing their asses while begging forgiveness for what was done to our nation in the name of the Chrysanthemum Throne upon which he sits.

That's what I want.

Maybe that's why I'll never be in charge