Tuesday, September 9, 2014

In Defense Of Ray Rice

We all saw the video of Ray Rice knocking out his lady and dragging her out of the elevator. That wasn't a very nice thing to see.
What we did not see was what occurred up to that point that led to this, but we do have a clue that his lady was already in shrew mode by the way she turned on him in the elevator, where he responded with a sharp strike of the hand. A single strike. Not a beating. What Chris Brown did to Rihanna was a beating.

No, I'm not going to defend a man striking his lady,...  yet at the same time we need to call a lady out when she's in full psycho-mode and 'pushing all the buttons'.
Can we all agree that both participants are wrong here?  Both are being disrespectful and abusive of their domestic partner.

So, yeah... In this situation, it's politically incorrect to say that she's 'asking for it'... so I'll just go ahead and say that she is definitely inviting a harsh reaction from a man she's is treating harshly.

There are abusive men out there, truly abusive men (and women), but I'm not seeing that here. I'm seeing a young couple who have communication issues and need to do better with conflict resolution.

To call Ray Rice a domestic abuser/wife beater is to downplay the really abusive assholes, who use violence (or threat of) to control their relationship. I've known a few women who were beaten because dinner wasn't tasty enough, the house wasn't clean enough, or the laundry not ironed properly.

I want to know how many NFL owners, ESPN writers, or TMZ reporters have ever reacted harshly to harsh treatment by their lady, and those that have, and I KNOW some indeed have, by what right do you continue to earn a living in your profession while Ray Rice is denied his?

The pontificating, hypocritical double standard is appalling, if you ask me...


Bike Bubba said...

Since she was knocked unconscious, it's clearly domestic assault, donchathink?

What strikes me is that a video of the guy dragging his unconscious girlfriend out of the elevator, combined with his guilty plea in court, wasn't enough to get this guy tossed out of the league, but the video of him throwing the punch was.

Pretty darned scary that people who needed to see the punch thrown to make this determination both vote and serve on juries, no?

Gino said...

well, yes, assault is assault, and she assaulted him just before entering the elevator.

what is not clear: was it a punch, a slap, or slap-away that landed harder than intended. the dude is freakishly strong and quick, and wouldnt take much of a swipe to knock her out.

my name is Amanda said...

Click-bait post!

I agree with what Bike Bubba has stated above: what do people *think* it looks like when a person hits another so hard, that they are knocked unconscious?

Also, with what different reports are saying, it's looking like the NFL absolutely had seen the latest video, but waited until it reflected poorly on them, to do anything aside from the measly two-game suspension. Shame on the NFL, seriously. I don't know how I'll be able to stand their pink uniform bullshit during breast cancer season (or whatever they want to call it) without rolling my eyes out of their sockets. The notion that this organization gives a shit about women is utterly laughable.

Of course it should affect his employment. This isn't like some dude in a factory or in office. Pro-sports are part of the entertainment industry. Players are celebrities and representatives for their organizations; their pay reflects the higher stakes position they agree to when they sign a contract. (Which probably includes threat of suspension/firing for criminal behavior and/or behavior that makes the NFL looks bad, right?)

And obviously I disagree that anything this woman did should provoke being punched. I thought they taught you in Dude School that if a woman is attempting to physically attack you, you simply block your body with your giant arms, or if needed, hold their arms at their sides NON-violently? I've had a skinny, adolescent boy grab me in the street before and I wasn't able to get out of the grip. Suffice it to say, a NFL player has NOTHING to fear physically, from the vast majority of (unarmed) women (and men).

Finally, as none of us are privy to the details of this couple's relationship, none of us can say whether this qualifies as whatever Gino considers to be a "truly abusive." That the victim should marry the perpetrator and publicly defend him is totally keeping in line with the typical pattern of domestic abuse - which relies on emotional manipulation, threat of repeated violence and death, and women's socialization to be forgiving and compliant.

...Not to sound harsh myself, but I do think it's too bad you have summed up the incident as "reacting harshly to harsh treatment." That makes it sound like she coldcocked him first, and when he came to, he did her right back. Whatever weakling thing she was attempting to do (if anything at all), getting knocked out was *not* an equally "harsh" response.

Gino said...

but amanda, i thought you were for equality, and against that silly notion of women being weaker...

she struck first, he struck back... fair is fair.

Bike Bubba said...

Well, the perp did have getting racked to fear, but I tend to agree with Amanda (hope this doesn't shock you too much, friend!) that a certain portion of men--say the top .1% in strength or something--do need to realize that (like the old joke about the black belt in karate) that their hands and feet are lethal weapons when used with full force on many of us.

Of course, growing up without a dad, and presumably being up very late and perhaps being somewhat intoxicated at a casino, are probably not conducive to Mr. Rice learning and applying this.