The Clown Car Uterus

I'm sure you've all heard about the Miracle of LifePharmaceuticals that took place at a Kaiser hospital in Bellflower, CA.

If you've missed it, some woman gave birth to eight kids a couple of days ago.

Now it turns out this guppy woman already has six other kids.

This is what I find bothersome.
After already establishing her own ethnic group, why was she still on fertility treatments?
Now, I'm not one to down folks for excessive childbirth. In fact, I believe large (and larger) families should be celebrated, if not encouraged.
But there comes a point when ethics says you've gotta stop screwing around with the natural flow of things, lest you make a mockery of what should be treated with reverence.
Though the family involved has requested anonymity at this time, you can't hide eight diaper bags forever. Eventually, we'll get to the full story and I suspect there will be a doctor called upon to answer a few questions from his governing board.
At least I hope so.

Can't Make This Up

He should have tried the beaver instead.

Stolen

(via The Lumberjack)

Both Sides Of The Same Ass

Let's see if I understand this correctly...

During the Amnesty Debate, the left told us that millions of wetbacks having babies on public money was good for our economy...

And now we are being told that all babies are a drain on the goverment.

When Gulls Attack

Heermann's gull attacked Kansas couple eating ice cream at Laguna Beach

Some of my fondest memories were made, and continue to be so, in and around Laguna Beach and Dana Point Harbor while fishing with my son. The Son is an avid fisherman. I'm not, so I just kinda tag along while he does most of the actual fishing. I catch a few fish, but it's mostly about the two of us just hanging out enjoying our time together.

When the fish aren't biting, we can be seen throwing a few rocks at the flying wharf rats.
Yes. That's right.
"Endangered" (bullshit!) species be damned, rats are rats,wings or not.

And these Heerman's Gulls, of which the link speaks, really are the worst of what truly is a badly behaving species of bird to begin with.

Here is how it starts:
You are minding your own business, peacefully communing with the great outdoors, enjoying a few laughs.

The gulls notice just what a swell time you are having, and send in The Recon Gulls.

These Recon Gulls aren't stupid, and are specially trained to zero in and identify certain items of interest: bait bag of anchovies, bucket of previously caught fish, your sack lunch...

Soon, the Recon Gulls leave and within a few minutes, every damn Gull on the west coast is up deep inside your stuff. And they know where they're going (because the Recon Gulls already told them,remember?)

They will swoop in and rip your bait sardine out of your hands while you try to bait a hook. They will attempt to take the whole bait bag out of your hands. They will steal the fish from your bucket. They will knock over your beer.

And if you resist their thuggery, they will shit on you.

I can't understand why the hell any of these birds need legal protection when they seem to do just fine while they gang together and harass us poor human folk.
We need to fight The Gulls. But it's not easy. They got The Cops,The Audubon Society, and Fishing Wardens on their side.
You gotta be stealthy, is what I'm saying.
But be warned: just swinging a stick isn't good enough. Launching an assault pisses them off further, unless you actually do hit one of them. This is important to remember.
If you can't land a strike, they won't fear you.

Kudos to Mr. Djuric for helping us take some of them out.
Unfortunatly for him, being from Kansas, he didn't know you weren't supposed to be seen doing it.

Gran Torino

It's been several months since I made it to the movie house and I'm sure you've all been wondering if I'd ever get around to doing movie posts again.

The day has arrived. I've managed nominal control over the 'hock and spit' situation to the point where I'm willing to venture back out into the world again, burn up that $4 gas I purchased last October, and start to live a little more, even if it is just a little.

Gran Torino is the tale of Walter Kowalski(Clint Eastwood),a bitter,scowling, widower living in what was once a nice neighborhood in Detroit. Nice, that is, until urban decay and the arrival of Gooks and Spooks ruined the place.

One thing unusual about this film: the majority of the cast are Hmong, who play the parts of Kowalski's neighbors. Not that important, but it may be a trivia question for somebody someday.

Moving along...
With Spooks and Gooks, come gangs and violence. Kowalski unwillingly, and unwittingly, befriends, and is befriended, by all his Hmong neighbors whom he despises but comes to appreciate. He's the only one with the brass pair to stand up to the gangs and trouble makers, and the Hmong are the only ones who genuinely appreciate him for who he is, warts and all.
It becomes evident he is also harboring a few spooks of his own, in terms of bad war memories, and a distant relationship with his own children.

Much of the movie centers on this relationship with the Hmong, as he takes the neighbor family under his protective wing, and teaches their weak-willed son how to walk,talk and act like a man.
Most of the time I was laughing my ass off. This movie is hilariously funny, in a disrespectful, impolite, politically incorrect way. I thought I knew every possible slur for an Asian. Now I've learned a few more. Not to be mistaken: this is not a comedy. This is a serious story,presented in a serious way. But even serious life is funny from the outside looking in. And Kowalski calls everything the way he sees it, unafraid to offend anybody.

I've heard that Clint Eastwood is retiring (he's 78) and this is his final project. It's a good exclamation point to place at the end of a stellar and varied career, and easily ranks as among his best. It's hard to compare it to such fare as 'Unforgiven' and 'Pale Rider', but that's only because it's a wholly different genre. At a time when Hollywood has run out of story lines, this is something new, and has no comparison in recent memory.
I'll just say that depending on how you want to judge them, this may be his best work. It's sounds cliche, I know, but that's how I feel about it.

Happy Hoping Day, Everybody

I've got an appointment with a nutritionist this morning. Seems this little visit is supposed to last an hour and a half. What the hell a nutritionist is going to do with me for that long of a time I have not a clue.

I'm hoping maybe I can get some change in this formula I've been injecting. This stuff really,really does taste bad. Maybe not as bad as warthog asshole (sly Bourdain reference to please the initiated), but I'm willing to bet it's pretty close.

You may be asking yourself: "but, if he's eating through an abdominal tube, how can he know what it tastes like?"
Because sometimes it 'backs up'. Undigested. My esophagus doesn't seal off properly (remember: I once mentioned chronic halitosis). My breath continually smells like this formula does. So, yeah, I get to taste it often enough.

Also, I'm hoping to put the brakes on this weight loss. I'm down to 174lbs now. I don't mind the weight loss. In fact, I welcome it. But the rapidness does have me concerned. Instead of looking healthier/fitter/leaner, I'm starting to resemble a holocaust Jew.
Besides, 174 should be a proper weight for me.

Have a Happy Hoping Changing Day, everybody.

See you when I get back.